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  • Ryanne Harper

Twin Peaks Tuesday: Episode 13

Twin Peaks Tuesday is happening on a Tuesday. Again. That makes two weeks in a row. I'm killing it this week. I know it's only Tuesday, but still.

Las Vegas:

A lot is going down at the insurance agency. The Mitchum brothers, pleased with getting their huge settlement, are showering Dougie and fam with gifts. It seems unethical, but whatever. Tony, the other insurance agent who was handling the Mitchum case and who is supposed to make sure Dougie dies, is starting to sweat a little bit. He's been informed by the man he's working for he has one day to handle Dougie himself.

The following morning, Dougie's wife drops him off in their brand new BMW, courtesy of the Mitchums. Tony offers to buy Dougie a cup of coffee. A cup of coffee he intends to use to poison Dougie. If you're going to poison Dougie/Cooper, coffee is definitely the way to go. Dougie/Cooper rudely leaves the table to admire the cherry pie selection. Tony drops in the poison, but chickens out. He can't kill Dougie. He's so overcome with guilt, in fact, he confesses to falsifying claims and a plethora of other things that, since the boss already new about it, should have led to him losing his job, but somehow didn't Dougie's in the corner like "Confess". His boss and Tony think he's urging Tony to confess, but it's just Dougie/Cooper repeating the last word he heard, as he's wont to do. They all decide Tony can keep his job if he testifies against the men he's working for.

Meanwhile, at the police department, the results on Dougie's prints have come back. Turns out, he's both an escaped convict from South Dakota AND a missing FBI agent. The police are like "That can't be right" and laugh about how absurd that is. Because it is. It's also true, though.

Western Montana

Gross Cooper is gross. Ray, who thought he killed Gross Cooper, is a little surprised when he shows up at Ray's clubhouse/warehouse building. I don't know what it is, really, I just assume they're up to no good. GC is pissed at Ray, understandably so. To settle their dispute, GC and Ray's huge buddy, Lorenzo, are going to arm wrestle. Yup. Arm wrestle. I don't know why, but I find arm wrestling hilarious. Lorenzo is tough, but GC has that black lodge magic and calmly destroys Lorenzo. Then, not so calmly, punches through his skull. GC is the new boss. He asks for cell phones and alone time with Ray. Ray tries to run, which doesn't go well. GC shoots him in the leg because he wants some answers. Come to find out, Agent Phillip Jefferies, if you're a long-time Twin Peaks fan, you'll remember him from Fire Walk With Me. Phillip Jefferies, played brilliantly by David Bowie, only had about five minutes of screen time, but he's important because he, like Chet Desmond and Cooper, was on the Blue Rose Task Force and disappeared mysteriously. GC asks Ray about Major Briggs, he doesn't know anything, but he does happen to have Cooper's old ring and the coordinates Briggs gave Ruth Davenport in his pockets. As we know from last week, the coordinates are Twin Peaks. Maybe GC will head that way. After getting what he needed, he tells Ray to put the ring on. Ray obliges and GC shoots him. Ray's body is transported, because of the ring, to the black lodge. Sending someone to the black lodge is pretty savage.

Oh, I should mention, as the scene ends, they do a quick scan of the room and Richard Horne is there. Of course he is.

Twin Peaks:

This episode made the Twin Peaks rounds. We saw a lot of people, but nothing significant seems to have happened.

Bobby shows up to the Double R pretending he isn't looking for Shelly, but he totally is. He ends up having dinner with Norma and Ed. Dinner is interrupted when Walter, Norma's business partner, shows up to go over some financial reports. Ed is moody and sulky about it. Norma, aside from not charging enough for her pie, is doing pretty well for herself.

Audrey still can't find her boyfriend. It's super ballsy to ask your husband to help you find your missing boyfriend. Audrey, not feeling like herself, kinda loses it on husband. Husband says "Are you going to stop playing games or am I going to have to end your story, too?" I don't know what that means exactly, but it's a weird thing to say.

Dr. Jacobi stopped by Nadine's drape runner store and she fangirled all over him.

Sarah Palmer is pounding booze while watching the same thirty seconds or so of a boxing match on a loop.

Shelly proves that cherry pie really is the Twin Peaks cure-all

Okay, but we have to talk about the last ten minutes. I was REALLY hoping this wouldn't happen. Ugh. It's so embarrassing. James, who shouldn't sing anything ever, sings the song he, Maddie, and Donna sang in Fire Walk With Me. First of all, James has an....unusual voice. He sounds a little like Kermit the frog's nephew from the Muppets. That's just me being polite. It's terrible. Secondly, the song itself is awful. Some woman we haven't met yet is in a booth crying her eyes out except she appears to be enjoying the song. Pretending to enjoy or be moved by that song is probably the best acting we've seen yet.

Basically the same character.

We end the episode at Big Ed's rather than The Roadhouse, which was a nice change. I'd rather watch Big Ed light strips of paper on fire for an hour than listen to James sing.

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