• Ryanne Harper

New Releases: May 15th

Jimmy Pat has gone where no Jimmy Pat has gone before, finally delving into the one topic I thought was safe from him. Princesses. His newest new release is Princess: A Private Novel. I have no idea what that means, but I like to assume it's his attempt to appeal to the Disney crowd. In true Jimmy Pat fashion, Princess: A Private Novel is not his only release. So, you could opt for Crazy Horse: A Public Novel. I added that subtitle for funsies. Enough about James Patterson, here's what you should read instead:

Literally anything.

Jane Seymour: the Haunted Queen. I like to pretend it's a biography about the actress. It's not.

Pop: a Fatherhood in Pieces by Michael Chabon. This collection of essays is funny and heartfelt on the subject of fatherhood.

I went through ten of the one hundred and eighty pages of new releases scheduled for next week. Nothing is grabbing my attention so I'll stick with ranting about James Patterson.

I had no idea he did these things called book shots. They're basically very, very short stories about his more well known characters. Brilliant. I mean, I don't like them, but it's super smart. It's similar to when J.K. Rowling filled the Harry Potter void with Quidditch Through the Ages and Fantastic Beast. Except those are both adorable and good companion guides. I assume the same cannot be said for the book shots. I'll never know because I refuse to read a James Patterson. At this point, I'm too afraid I may actually like him and then I'd have to retract ALL previous statements and blogs and that's just embarrassing. So, I'll stick to being annoyed by him for no particular reason. Oh, except I have a reason.

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