Ghost Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Hey Bookworms! Summer has officially begun and everybody is getting ready for vacations. The thing is that people are so preoccupied with making sure they have plenty of gas, killer playlists, and Corn Nuts to snack on that they don’t worry about the literal thousands of paranormal entities they could encounter. Luckily, I’m here with all the tips and trips you need to navigate the supernatural summer season.
This week I want to talk about phantom hitchhikers, specifically Resurrection Mary, the most famous phantom hitchhiker in America. Mary was a Chicago gal and one night she was out with her boyfriend at the Willowbrook Ballroom. It was the 1930s and most young folks thought that going out dancing for the evening was the bees knees.
On this particular evening, Mary and her honey got into a fight. Mainly because dudes are the actual worst. Mark my words, Bookworms, none of the ghoulies and ghosties that I will ever write about will be more awful than a single human dude has the potential to be at any given moment. Unless it’s a creature that was a human dude before it gained supernatural powers. Lord help you if you run across that beast.
So, Mary’s guy thought he could just cut a rug with any dame in the joint, but our girl Mary wasn’t having it. She was spitting nails and she got so hot under the collar about it that she stormed out of the ballroom and started walking home. The fella was a crumb and she didn’t need him anyways. Mary was only a few blocks away from the ballroom when tragedy, quite literally, struck. A car - more than likely driven by a drunken dude - came roaring around the corner and right into Mary. The no good mook didn’t even have the decency to stop and call for an ambulance; he just kept on roaring off into the night so our Mary ended up a ghost.
Loads of people would not take that news well, but Mary was a real trooper. She wasn’t going to let death get her down. No siree, she didn’t plan to be one of those brooding specters going bump in the night. She was going to put the “boo” in boogie shoes and see what the undead nightlife had to offer. Chicago was a swinging apple and there were all sorts of things a ghost girl could get up to. In fact, being a ghost was so freeing! She could go anywhere, do anything, socialize with anyone she wanted and not have to worry about her reputation or safety. Mary was going to have the time of her afterlife! There was a poltergeist over on 45th that threw one heck of a wingding every single night. A gin joint over on Armitage where you could kick up your gams with everyone from recently deceased gun molls to ghostly grandmas. There were new phantom folk to meet every night, and the music! The wraiths downtown played the sweetest jazz she’d ever heard.
The party scene was amazing but, every once in a while, a girl needs time to think. So, Mary will retrace the steps of her last walk and sometimes people stop because it’s dark out and she’s young and all alone. It’s sweet really, that a warm body would stop and give her a ride, so she always accepts. She has to stay pretty quiet in the car because she doesn’t know much about pop culture anymore and she can’t exactly talk about the phantasms she spent most of her time with. They’d think she was bonkers. So, she studies the driver’s clothes, the music on the radio, and how much cars have changed over the years. Golly, these days it feels like she’s riding in a rocket ship. When the car gets close to Resurrection Cemetery she asks the driver to pull over and let her out. She can’t exactly ask them to pull up to her headstone, after all. Mary disappears almost as soon as she walks through the cemetery gates. It shakes people up so bad they almost end up as her new neighbors, but it can’t be helped. You never can tell when you’ll see her and you’ll never forget it after you do.
Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll run into Mary one summer night. Tell her I say “Hi” if you do. She sounds like a hoot. Either way, here are some road trip rules to follow. The number one rule is don’t do any hit and runs. Really, just don’t y’all. Drive safe. Secondly, if you see somebody who needs help, and you can help them, you should do it. It will make your heart feel good. Thirdly, be open to an adventure. Summer was made for an unexpected adventure. Lastly, don’t forget them Corn Nuts. I know they smell like kimchi made out of feet and roadkill but there is simply no finer driving snack. I’ll see you on the flip side Bookworms!